


Restricted Area

by Fangirl_fanatic



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eating Disorders, F/F, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, please be cautious when reading, stay safe y’all, this may possibly be triggering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:53:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23325046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangirl_fanatic/pseuds/Fangirl_fanatic
Summary: It starts like most bad habits start. At first, there's no real cause for concern. It's a little extra running when everyone else is eating dinner and it's counting calories to stay in shape. It's eating a little less and only losing a pound or two. On all accounts, it starts innocently enough. Natasha should've know that that's not how it would stay.
Relationships: Wanda Maximoff/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 1
Kudos: 82





	Restricted Area

**Author's Note:**

> This was requested by someone a long, LONG time ago (sorry about that). Not my best work but I figured something is better than nothing.

Natasha is attractive. She knows that, has used her body to get what she needs on one too many missions to have ever needed to question this fact. But for the first time in her life, she's also replaceable. The Red Room had always needed her and then she was S.H.E.I.L.D's top agent and then the Avengers were created. Sure, she started as irreplaceable but not anymore. Now there's new, stronger heroes that have come into play like Sam and Bucky. And Wanda. Now, Natasha just feels old and useless. 

It starts like most bad habits start. At first, there's no real cause for concern. It's a little extra running when everyone else is eating dinner and it's counting calories to stay in shape. It's eating a little less and only losing a pound or two. On all accounts, it starts innocently enough. Natasha should've know that that's not how it would stay. 

Because extra running turns into exercising to the brink of exhaustion and still trying to do more. Because counting calories turns quickly into reducing calories, restricting calories. Because eating less turns into being scared of eating more than a handful of grapes and even then feeling guilty. Because losing one or two pounds turns into losing twenty, twenty-five, thirty pounds. Because suddenly this is not as innocent as it started out. 

Six months down the rabbit hole and people start to get a little worried. They asks her how she's feeling but — other than hungry and a little guilty — Natasha is feeling great. She's in great shape, albeit how poorly maintained it is, she's performing well on field missions, and she's even got an amazing girlfriend — and God, Natasha is sure Wanda is the best thing to have ever happened to her. So generally, she feels great. 

Sure, there's those moment when everything comes crashing down around her. When she binges after starving herself for 2 days and throws up entirely on accident — though Natasha's not too torn up about getting rid of those calories. When the guilt of not being skinny enough, disciplined enough, good enough weighs on her like a ton of bricks. When everything just seems utterly impossible. Those moments can be tough. 

Today, it's bad. Natasha had messed up during combat training earlier in the day and rolled her ankle, sending her sprawling to the ground with a pained cry. They'd ended up just wrapping it, giving Natasha some Tylenol, and calling it a day. Which usually would be fine, but Natasha had eaten a meal yesterday that was starting to nag at the back of her mind, telling her to do more.

Burning a few more calories is the only thing on Natasha's mind as she limps through the corridor of the Stark building and to the gym, planning to do a few miles on the treadmill and maybe some strength training. Her ankle twinges with her ever step but it's not unbearable — certainly not something she should be walking on but that's besides the point. The pain doesn't get better once she's one the treadmill — in fact, it definitely gets worse — but Natasha just sets her shoulders and continues on running. 

She's not sure how long she's been at it when her vision starts to get spotty. Her breathing is becoming shallow so she must have at least run a couple miles but it's definitely not time to stop. The lightheadedness is telling her otherwise, though, and it wouldn't be great if one of her teammates found her passed out — that's be a surefire way to concern the whole team — so she moves on to strength training in hopes of getting a little more exercise in without the risk. 

Which is exactly what she does. Natasha has always enjoyed weight training so she spends an hour going through her normal routine, twice over. It still doesn't feel like enough — it never really does though — so she resolves to skip dinner tonight. It's the best option for her at the moment so, after leaving the gym, she skips the floor where she knows Steve is preparing their meal and heads straight for her own floor in search of some peace and quiet, maybe even a shower. 

That's not what she finds. What Natasha does find though, is an agitated Wanda pacing her living room floor and wringing her hands. When the elevator doors open to reveal Natasha, the young witch immediately looks up and furrows her eyebrows. 

"Wha—"

"Where have you been?" Wanda demands, cutting of Natasha as she lets out a confused protest. "Your ankle is not good enough for you to be walking around."

"I..." Natasha trails off, at a loss for words as Wanda moves forward. 

"You're sweating. Why have you been sweating?"

"I was exercising," Natasha replies plainly, unimpressed at Wanda's interrogation. 

"Nat," Wanda sighs heavily, grabbing her girlfriend's arm and pulling her over to the couch so they can sit down, "you're injured, you should not be exercising."

"I feel fine."

"Honey, you're shaking." Wanda runs a hand up and down Natasha's arm comfortingly as she realizes that she is, indeed, shaking. 

"I guess I got a little carried away." She shrugs as if that makes everything go away but Wanda is not convinced. At all. She goes to say something, anything that would convince Natasha to open up to her, but Natasha stands up to go shower. 

"Where are you—" Wanda cuts herself off as Natasha starts to sway and puts her hand out to steady herself even though she's got nothing to grab onto. She's just starting to stumble forward and tip to the side as Wanda stands up and catches her on the shoulders. This seems to startle Natasha. 

"I— you—" she stumbles over the beginning of her sentence a few times and Wanda shushes her gently, leading them to the bedroom and trying to get Natasha seated as quickly as possible. 

"Nat, it's okay. You're okay," Wanda soothes softly, her voice serving to ground Natasha to the present and bring her back from the hazy confusion and dizziness starting to cloud her head. "Come on, lets sit down. You're okay, just sit down."

She gets them seated on the bed without much hassle and ends up pulling Natasha partially onto her lap, with her legs thrown over Wanda’s and her side leaning completely on Wanda’s front. Wanda immediately starts rubbing rhythmic circles into Natasha’s back as she takes a shaky deep breath. 

“Babe, what’s going on?” She asks, trying to carefully prod Natasha to get her to start talking. Wanda expects her to be guarded and quiet — composed like she most often is — but instead her breathing quickly becomes rapid and shallow and suddenly she’s crying without any warning. It takes a second for Wanda to process what’s going on but then she jumps into action, moving them back against the headboard so that she can rock them back and forth gently. 

“I— it... just—”

“Hey, take your time. You don’t have to talk right now.” Wanda runs a hand through Natasha’s hair, brushing it off of her face. “Just focus on taking deep breaths. That’s it, just like me. In and out. Just in and out.”

It takes a while to get Natasha’s breathing back to a normal rate and even longer for the tears to taper off. When they do eventually stop falling, Natasha starts blushing heavily and ducks her head, hiding her face in the crook of Wanda’s neck. It throws Wanda off for a second, to see Natasha in such a vulnerable position, but she recovers quickly. 

“Tasha, I think we should talk,” Wanda says and then cringes at that way that sounds. “I’m worried, this doesn’t seem healthy.”

Natasha mumbles something into Wanda’s skin that the Sokovian can’t quite decipher. “Repeat that please?” Natasha pulls her head away slightly so that Wanda can see her face. 

“I’m scared.”

“Of what, Nat?” She asks, continuing to rub Natasha’s back as her blush comes back full force. 

“I’m gonna get kicked off the team,” she mumbles, just barely audible for Wanda to hear. 

“Natasha, babe, why would that ever happen?” Wanda’s confused, very confused, because in her mind that doesn’t seem like anything in the realm of possibilities. 

“I’m weak. Not enough muscle, too much fat. I’m not good enough for this team.” Natasha looks close to tears again and Wanda hesitates, thinks for a moment, and then—

“Honey, how long has it been since you’ve eaten?”

“I ate last night, remember?” Natasha seems confused at the random questioning and Wanda doesn’t quite understand why. 

“And that was the last time? No breakfast, no lunch, no snacks?”

“I— yes.” Natasha hangs her head, a little ashamed. Wanda shifts so that she can see Natasha face to face. 

“Natasha, you need to listen to me.” Wanda says seriously, her eyes boring into Natasha, who blushes again. “You are powerful, very very powerful. You’re strong and you’re beautiful, and there is no reason that you would ever lose your spot on this team. You understand, yeah?”

“Yeah...” Natasha still seems unconvinced and Wanda shakes her head. She cups one of her cheeks softly, gently raising her chin so that Natasha looks her in the eyes. 

“There is no reason for you to need to be skinnier. You’re body is perfect and it’s strong, and I love every bit of it. I love every bit of you, Nat, ok? You need to start eating. This is not good for you.”

“It’s just so hard,” Natasha whimpers, lip trembling slightly as her eyes start watering. A tear falls but Wanda wipes it away with the pad of her thumb, staring at Natasha with absolute adoration in her eyes. 

“I know, hon, I know. I’m here for you, though. We’re all here for you. Good days and bad days, you can come to me — us. Yeah?” Natasha nods and Wanda kisses her gently on the forehead. “We’ll get through this, I promise.”

They sit like that for a few minutes, Wanda whispering soothing things to her as Natasha tries to soak in everything she’s saying — tries to really believe all the loving words coming out of her mouth even though she can’t quite do it yet. After a little while, Wanda shift a little. “How about we take a nice, warm shower and then — since Steve’s prepared a lovely meal — we go down and eat dinner. I’ll be with you the whole time, okay?”

“Okay,” Natasha says softly her eyes hardening in determination. After all, she’s never been one to back away from a challenge.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a comment/feedback, it’s always good to hear from you guys! Thank you!


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